TRUE STORY: Wall•e Freaks Out

This one's pretty self explanatory. I guess fame really did this little guy in.

Wall•E Loves Noise Toys (part 1) from Gian Pablo Villamil on Vimeo.

COOL ANIMAL 'O THE WEEK: Pack rats

                                                                                         fig. 1

The pack rat (neotoma cinerea for all you science buffs) is nature's little hoarder. These cuties mostly live in the deserts of the American Southwest, so I guess you can't really blame them for wanting to spice up their lives with a few shiny objects. Pack rats love collecting treasures and incorporating them into their messy nests or "middens". Mostly, pack rats like to settle their middens (fig. 2) in caves, like this little guy:

                                                                                                 fig. 2

It is said that the crystallization of the pack rat's urine is what cements the midden together. But beyond this practical use, the urine can also preserve the midden for up to 40,000 years. This has really been great for scientist and archeological egg-head types. So here's to you, pack rat! Thank you.

IMAGE ASSOCIATION: Vol. II

TIME TRAVEL: Culture Club

Let's take a trip back to 1983 when Boy George was still kind of cool. This song was Culture Club's foray into the White Reggae scene:



Culture Club - Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?

Did anyone else notice the Hebrew on Boy George's sweatshirt/tunic/unclassifiable garment? Jewish culture and fake reggae combining...does this sound familiar? Was Boy George the original Matisyahu?

TRUE STORY: Reassuring Quotes From U.S. Presidents

"I am not fit for this office and should never have been here."
-Warren G. Harding (29th president)

"I think I might as well give up being a candidate. There are so many people in the country who don't like me."
-William Howard Taft (27th president)

"The Bank is trying to kill me, but I shall kill it! "
-Andrew Jackson (7th president)

"I outlived the bastards."
-Herbert Hoover (31st president)

"I know only two tunes: one of them is 'Yankee Doodle', and the other one isn't."
-Ulysses S. Grant (18th president)

"I am the last President of the United States!"
-James Buchanan (15th president)

RISING TRENDS: Improved Gorilla/Human Relations

An eternal friendship between humans and gorillas was looking pretty likely once word got out that Koko the gorilla could communicate with sign language.

But this nipple loving she-beast threw it all away in a sexual harassment case. (not kidding) Where did it go wrong between us and them? Is it because we are a highly evolved, clearly superior version of them? Whatever it was that caused this rift seems to be water under the bridge, because our research analyst team has noted increasing numbers of true friendships between gorillas and humans.

Yes, things are looking up for gorilla lovers. And for the rest of you: I suggest hopping on this trend fast because the Western Gorilla is currently listed as critically endangered. By the time you decide it might be cool to have a gorilla-friend, it may be too late.

[TIP] if supplies are scarce, you may find that teaming up with another human and sharing your gorilla can be a nice alternative. Everyone likes a gorilla sandwich.

COOL ANIMAL O' THE WEEK: Alpacas

The alpaca is a South American "camelid" often confused for a llama. But they're so clearly different. Alpacas are slightly smaller and cuter. 

I was really into getting one of these as a pet or personal wool factory or something, but then I discovered this disturbing photograph!

What happened to you, alpacas!? All that adorable, fluffy fur is just a lie. Underneath you look like weird lizards. Well worry no longer, my friends, the alpaca has been exposed! Don't let these camelids fool you any longer.